


Can you promise me something?

by BecaAMM



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Cancer, Character Death, F/M, Mentions of Cancer, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-22 05:04:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11960304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BecaAMM/pseuds/BecaAMM
Summary: Bucky never thought he would need to prepare himself for your death one day. Turns out, he does.





	Can you promise me something?

“Bucky.” You called in a whisper. “Can you promise me something?”

You were dying. Not from an injury, not because of a mission, but from something you couldn’t fight. Cancer had gotten to before you could even come to know about it, and when you finally found out about it, your whole body was sick.

“Anything.” He touched your cheek.

You raised your head from where it was resting, his chest, and looked up to find his eyes staring back at you.

“You promise you will move on when I’m gone?””

He didn’t like when you talked like that. Like you knew you were going to die soon. For months now you’ve been in treatment with the best specialists Tony could find, and as much as your whole team of friends liked to believe it would be enough to save you, you’ve already accepted your fate.

“Y/N…”

“Just promise, Bucky.” You said again.

He sighed for a moment.

“If you come to die.” He rolled his eyes like it was something impossible. “I promise I will move on.”

You lied back on his chest and pulled the scarf covering your head. Your hair was long gone now, it had started to fall at your third session of chemotherapy, and you hated the fact that now you were completely bald. You had a wig you could use when leaving the tower but it just made things so _obvious_.

Bucky always said he loved your naked head as much as he loved your hair, even though you knew you looked terrible.

“Hey.” He pulled you up so he could kiss you. “You are my doll.” He whispered against your lips. “I love you. I’ll always love you.”

You cupped his cheek, rubbing your cold fingers on his skin, and kissed him softly again. You were together for some years now and were freshly engaged when you found out about the disease killing you.

“I love you.” You whispered. “I’ll always love you.”

The morning you were told your treatment didn’t work anymore, you cried for a whole day with the team by your side. Tony promised to look out for more doctors, Bruce searched for alternative studies and Natasha couldn’t bring herself to do more than sitting by your side and squeeze your hand. When you were with her, you could hear very well as Bucky exploded on a different floor, accompanied by Steve and Sam and knowing it was as hard for him as it was for you.

“Here.” Your fiancé helped you take your medicine. It wasn’t helping with your cancer, not anymore, it was only something to help you cope with the pain.

You had gotten worse and worse as the weeks passed, and knew you wouldn’t survive much more. One day, you just told them to stop trying.

“It is over, guys.” You had said, squeezing Bucky’s hand in yours as you saw their hearts breaking through their eyes. “There’s nothing we can do now.”

That night, you and Bucky had sex. It was a rare event after you’ve gotten sick. Your energy was frequently low and he was always afraid of hurting you. He looked inside your eyes all the time and made you orgasm so many times you lost count like it was the last time he would feel you or make you feel good, or even hear your voice.

“I love you.” He said, squeezing you in his arms, lying by your side. “I love you so much.”

The next morning, you could barely leave your bed. Your body ached and you were too tired. Because of it, Bucky had to feed you and help you walk to the bathroom when you needed. He stood by your side and hugged you, and never left you alone.

“I don’t deserve you.” You whispered. “You are so good to me.”

He smiled, caressing your face with his metal hand, a hand you had taught him how to love.

“Do you want anything?” He offered.

You shook your head.

“I’m okay. Can you just lay down with me?”

Bucky nodded and found his place by your side, holding you carefully.

“Bucky.” You called.

“Yeah?”

“Will you cry when I die?”

He took a breath. He knew he should be waiting for you to go. It could be any moment by now.

“If you die,” He caressed your face. “I’ll cry.”

You breathed slowly.

“Don’t.” You looked up. “I’m happy.”

He frowned.

“You’re happy you’re dying?”

You chuckled.

“No.” You corrected him. “I’m happy I had a good life.”

He shook his head, caressing your cheek.

“I saved people, fought bad guys.” You reminded him. “I did good.”

“You did.”

He spent the week waiting for you to go. You were weak, tired, needing him. Everyone came and left every day, each of your friends not wanting to leave you or accept your destiny. Sometimes they brought you flowers and sometimes your favourite food. Every day, Wanda would bring you rose to place by your bed, knowing you loved the way they smelt. Bucky never left your side, though. He wanted his love to be the last thing you would ever feel and his face to be the last you would ever see.

But then, out of nowhere, you got better. You asked him out and let the girls pamper you, went to your favourite restaurant, and even walked in the park holding his hand.

“You think we can call your doctor?” He suggested. “Maybe we can change your treatment, you are stronger now. ”

You shrugged.

“I want to go home now.” You said to him, and Bucky quickly brought you to the car.

In the towers, he let you shower and you two laid down together.

“I love you.” You kissed his shoulder. “So much.”

“I love you too.” He smiled, blue eyes glued to yours.

“Can you get me a glass of water?”

He nodded, standing up and walking to the door.

“Hey.” You called, stopping him. “I love you. I love you more than anything in my life.”

Bucky chuckled.

“I know, doll. I love you too.” He smiled. “I love you more than the infinite.”

You smiled and lied back on his pillow with a smile.

When he came back to the room, you were still in the same position he left you, with the same smile on your lips.

“Doll.” He called, leaving the glass aside and sitting by your side. “Y/N?”

His hand ran to your wrist, looking for a pulse, and his eyes widened when he found nothing.

“Y/N!”

Bucky turned your body around, applying pressure on your chest several times, trying to bring you back.

“Come on, doll, come back. Come back to be, don’t go.” He insisted.

The Captain entered the room, stopping when he realised what had happened and stepped aside when the medical team showed up. They were prepared for that day for weeks now. Still, they tried their best to help you and bring you back. It didn’t work.

After five long minutes of trying to make your heart start beating again, they stepped back and declared your death, which made Bucky furious.

“Why did you stop?” He shouted. “You can’t stop, you need to help her.”

Steve pulled him into his arms, trying to calm his friend down.

“She’s gone, Buck.”

Gone. You were gone.

You fiancé shook his head.

“Y/N.” He looked at you. “But she was just fine, Steve. She… We were out today, we had fun. She was getting stronger.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve whispered. “I’m really sorry..”

“She was fine.”


End file.
